A Present and Two Tonys
by KatHarkness-Katara
Summary: "Have a prezzie, love Tony." "So, Dick, who's Tony?" "Dunno" A mysterious package arrives for Dick Grayson, and he doesn't know who it's from. Crackfic. No pairings.


**A Present and Two Tonys**

Dick Grayson and Tim Drake stared at the package on the table. The curly script on the label was simple: "Have a prezzie, love Tony." The brown paper it had been wrapped in had nothing more than Dick's name, and Wayne Manor's address. No sender details.

"So," Tim said, breaking the silence. "Who's Tony?"

"Dunno," Dick said, scratching his head.

"You don't know anyone called Tony?"

Dick racked his brains, trying to remember everyone he'd ever known. "I can only think of one. Zucco."

"Zucco?" Tim had never seen the man who'd killed Dick's parents, but knew the name. "Isn't he still doing time in Blackgate?"

"Nope. Released last week. Been trying not to think about it, actually. But he wouldn't send me presents."

"Hmm." They kept staring at the box. "We should take it down to the cave and scan it. Just in case."

"Yeah."

0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000

"That's not good."

"Nope."

"That's very not good."

"I got that, thanks."

"At least it gives us a reason why Zucco would send you a present."

"Yeah, thanks, Tim."

"No problem."

"I mean, seriously? A bomb? Sent through the mail? That's just reckless."

Tim swivelled around to look at his big brother. "Dick, you got him sent to jail for years. I don't think he likes you very much."

"I know, but I didn't think he'd be that clumsy."

Tim raised an eyebrow at the idly cartwheeling acrobat. "He tried to build up a protection racket that depended on the victims being too terrified of his amazing ability to cause accidents to report anything."

"Huh." Dick paused in his flips, balancing upside down on his hands. "Should we pay him a visit? Just Nightwing and Robin?"

"Probably ought to, yeah."

0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 000000000000

"Zucco…"

"Tony Zucco…"

The hissing voices slowly woke the aging gangster. Prison life hadn't been kind on him. Plus, child-murderers, even attempted child-murderers had never been popular inside. He was underweight, weak and bearing the traces of multiple injuries. Never as powerful as he thought he was, he'd lost any respect he might have commanded long ago.

"What? Who's there?" he mumbled sleepily.

"Give up your vendetta against the last Grayson," the black-and-blue figure whispered menacingly,

"Leave him in peace," added the red-and-black.

Now fully awake and scared out of his wits, Zucco nodded vigorously. "Of course. Yeah. Whatever you say. Leave the Grayson boy alone. I'll be good. I promise…"

The dark figures left. As they did so, they heard a faint whisper behind them. "Hadn't even started. How could they know…?"

0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000 00000000000000

"So it wasn't Zucco?" Tim asked, frowning. "You sure there aren't any other Tonys in your past?"

"Pretty sure." Dick was frowning, cartwheeling about as he always did when he was thinking hard. "At least we headed off whatever he was planning," he muttered.

"Focus." Tim was pacing, also thinking hard. "We could open the box and see if there's a clue inside?"

"All those unknown electronic signatures? Sure it's safe?"

"Nope. But do you have any other suggestions?"

"Wait for Bruce to come back from wherever the JLA are off to?"

They both discarded the suggestion almost instantly. They'd followed standard procedure. Bruce would probably scowl, brood, and ban them from the cave until he'd figured it out.

"Okay. From a distance. With your staff."

Tim smirked amusedly, and pulled out the staff, snapping it to full length. He poked it carefully, then pulled it back and tied a batarang to the end. He carefully slit the tape and lifted the lid. The bat-boys ducked behind a workbench, waiting for an explosion. When none came, Tim strapped a video bug to the other end of his staff, stuck it over the box, and Dick punched the live feed on the Batcomputer's screen.

"It looks okay," Dick muttered. "There's some packing material, can you get rid of it?" The picture spun wildly as the staff was flipped, then returned. "Hmm."

Tim looked over. "Hmm? Oh. Hmm?" He laid the staff down.

Dick walked over to the box and picked up the contents. "It appears to be a robotic Nightwing." He examined it, eventually finding a maker's mark on the sole of the foot. "That symbol…"

Tim looked at it. "Never seen it before."

"I have. Now where was it…? Oh. Oh, now I get it. _That_ Tony."

"There was another Tony?!"

"Well, I only really met him this one time, and I never thought I'd hear from him, what with the quantal distance…"

"What are you on about? Quantal distance? Different Earths?"

Dick didn't look up from examining the robot. "Remember that time Titans Tower went missing? Just after you started as Robin."

"Yeah. You said you got shunted to another New York and teamed up with a bunch of heroes there before you got home."

"Uh-huh. One of those heroes wore this suit of robotic-y armour. Called himself Iron Man. But his real name was Tony Stark."

"Tony."

"Yup. He's kind of like Bruce, if the playboy bit was his real personality."

"Oh. Ugh."

"Yeah. He did mention hacking our systems and reading all our files. No idea how he got a package through the barrier, but that'll be how he had my address."

He set down the robot, flicking a switch. It buzzed to life, and back-flipped down the length of the workbench. Dick caught it and switched it off before it could fall over the edge. "I think I like it."

Tim nodded. "Pretty cool. You reckon the others got ones of their own?"

Dick grinned. "Maybe. Let's call 'em, we haven't hung out for a while."

Leaving with his new toy, he paused on the steps up to the manor. He looked back at his brother. "Think we should tell Bruce?"

"That a genius billionaire playboy hero from another Earth sent a robotic facsimile of Nightwing to Dick Grayson?"

"He'd blow a fuse, wouldn't he?"

"Yup."

"…Tony sent it to Titans Tower, didn't he?"

**AN: Okay, this is pretty silly. The idea was basically, "Tony Stark send Dick a present, and Dick thinks it's from Zucco." That's all. It's not a prelude to a Titans/Avengers crossover (yet. Maybe in the future. I have no plans that way. But I might, especially if I get asked for one enough times). It's not meant to be attached to any of my other works, although if you want to tie it into Wayne's Boys, I didn't exclude that. I was thinking movie-verse for Iron Man, so the Titans would know his other name, and Tony would know that. Any questions, PM me, and reviews always appreciated. This is un-beta'd, so there may be typos.**

**Hope you enjoyed it.**

**Katara Harkness**


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